not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
