I cannot find my penis.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
