Pants 0. Shit 1.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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