Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He passed out mid-signature
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
