i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
