just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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