idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
