i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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