is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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