I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize