Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
