he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
