guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
