He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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