rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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