went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
