...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I did not marry a roomba.
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