Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
