So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
