Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
