That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
