Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
