just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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