Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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