I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
