You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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