There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
