i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
