these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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