Don't make out with my wife yet
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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