All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
