The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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