And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize