After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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