@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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