OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
home. puking in laundry basket.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
