all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
