i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
