I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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