i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
