I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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