He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
