Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
