Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
