i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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