hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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