separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
