i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
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