You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize