I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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