I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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