Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Text me some of your sweat
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