and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
