wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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