In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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