Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
