the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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