And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
