i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
