Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
