so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
