Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
