you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
