that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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