We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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