rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize