fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
