Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
