saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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