please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
