found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize