I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
