you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
