How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
