That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
