I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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