using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
