I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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