so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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